WHY DO COUPLES GET DIVORCED?

If you feel that you are at the end of your rope, wondering if getting married was a mistake, or trying to decide if you need to call it quits and separate from your spouse, you are not alone.

People all over the country are considering separation or divorce and are feeling the same frustration and hopelessness. There are times when starting over is the right thing to do – but, how do you know?

Maybe you will separate from your spouse. Or, maybe you will find the answers that you need now to save your relationship…

HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD GET A DIVORCE?

Some people just know.

Maybe it became painfully obvious over time that you are not compatible with your partner. Or, maybe you discovered an abusive side of your spouse that you did not see before the marriage.

On the other hand, many people agonize over the decision to leave their spouse, wracked with guilt over whether they are doing the right thing, whether they could have done more to save their marriage, and, especially, whether they are doing the right thing for their children.

Your divorce lawyer can’t answer these questions for you, but we do want you to:

• Learn about divorce and why it happens;
• Seek out marital therapy whenever possible before making a final decision;
• Consider alternatives to divorce and exhaust all other options when you are unsure; and
• Find happiness and stability for yourself and your children.

Take some time to consider the reasons that couples end up separating and some strategies for working on your marriage when appropriate.

TOP REASONS THAT COUPLES DIVORCE

Although every relationship has its own challenges, many of the causes of separation and divorce are predictable – the same pitfalls that you encounter in your relationship are experienced by couples everywhere.

We’ve all heard that approximately half of all marriages end in divorce. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the rate of marital disruption (separation, divorce, or death) among women aged 15-44 years is:

• 22% after five years of marriage;
• 36% after ten years of marriage;
• 45% after 15 years of marriage; and
• 53% after 20 years of marriage.

Why?

Most agree that the items listed below are the leading causes of divorce, but I’d like to make the case that there is one insidious thread that connects all of them – a breakdown of trust in the relationship.

Can I trust my partner not to sleep with other people? Can I trust them to pay our bills, to pull their own weight, to not judge my ideas and beliefs, to not be abusive and to put our family first? Can I still rely on my partner?

Infidelity

Most will agree that cheating is the leading cause of separation and divorce.

It may be a one-night stand that the couple can’t move past or multiple infidelities. It could be a side-relationship that goes on for a while, or it could even be emotional infidelity tha